The Unabomber (unabomber) wrote,
The Unabomber

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Man is the most dangerous game, and nowhere near as entertaining as Boggle

I hate everyone. I hate you. I live on a prison of an island with something like twelve million people on it, and every day I find another reason why I want to buy a North Korean weapon and light the fuse underneath the fifty foot high sign of David Hasselhoff as Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde that stands in Times Square. I will hide under my bed with fifty years' worth of Snickers bars and then take joy in having to make my own candles out of the assfat of dead dogs, or whatever. I will miss DSL, but I will give up 384Kbps for $60 if the fucking idiot who stands outside my window every morning and screams at the top of her lungs for no reason will get it when the blast hits.

My heat is not working. As one who doesn't like technology, this may seem hypocritical, but heat isn't a fucking technology, it is a bunch of steam going through pipes. And my dago landlord hasn't turned on the heat yet, because he's a prick. Legally, he had to turn it on about three weeks ago, but this is New York. Landlords don't do much more than cash checks here, and anally rape you with a splintered piece of lumber whenever possible. It doesn't help that my landlord is this old mafioso wannabe fuck who doesn't understand why I was upset when my bathroom ceiling fell in and the room was raining fucking dirty bathwater at six in the morning. He started yelling at me because I was upset. He's Italian, so I guess I'll pull the old Il Duce and hang him by the ankles from a lamppost when I start my rampage.

I hate computers. Okay, so I am sitting in front of one - you got me there. But I hate upgrading computers, I hate supporting computers, I hate paying for them and then they never do what you want. I think the average American worker spends half of their time fucking with a computer instead of working. Sometimes I think if we went back to pens and pencils, some people would have a lot more free time. Of course, that's a bad thing. Read my manifesto, jerky.

Speaking of too much free time, the world series is in town. The subway series. Everyone expects me to pick my loyalty - Mets or Yankees. I don't care either way. Even if I liked sports, Baseball is second only to golf as the slowest and most boring. Five hours of guys running to the same four bases, scratching their crotches on TV? Even if it were chicks in those tight pants, I don't think I could make it. And these fucking New Yorkers are so religious about this. These are people who wouldn't pay $10 to get their kid a new jacket for winter, but they'd shell out three grand for tickets. Watch the thing on TV, for christ's sake. If you want the energy of the crowd, sit in the parking lot with a portable set. And I'm already stockpiling ammunition for when the riots begin. Our team won! Let's burn down our neighborhood! What a bunch of dumb fucks.

Okay, I need to update this thing and see if it actually works. I'm not exactly pro-technology, you know.

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